Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
