Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
