you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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