Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They took my balls.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
