too bad you live with your parents still
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
