And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
