Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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