He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
