I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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