Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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