My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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