you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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