If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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