My first STD was from a foam party
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
