as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
