You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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