this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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