I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
