the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
