I just pynch a tree in the face
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
