I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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