even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
