if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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