i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
