I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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