His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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