woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
tell me about the fingering
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
