Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
