Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
