That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
