North Korea, Best Korea!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
