toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
