I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i believe in u and ur pee
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