the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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