Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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