Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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