Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize