She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
