Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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