Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
