Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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