things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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