There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
