so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He shit in the fireplace
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
