Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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