Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize