It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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