Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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