I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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