but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
vagina is talking i cant
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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