they need to just BURY HIM!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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