awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
