We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
