so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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