Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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