bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
