dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize