Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
