if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
