i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize