Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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