Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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