He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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