Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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