i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
