Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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